I am Pretty

Who says you’re not beautiful? If this is their message, they are probably trying to sell you something. I look at women every day, and the thing that marks the difference between a beautiful woman and an ordinary one is not how she wears someone else’s look, it’s how she wears her own. I’ve learned in fashion very often how we feel about ourselves greatly affects how we accept a look. In my own life, the example of this has its roots in high school.

Yes, I am talking to all you girls and ladies who feel like you don’t deserve much of anything.    I am talking to you curly haired divas who spend hours straightening or perming your hair. All to fit in! Don’t by into the idea that you are incomplete if you do not fit into a poster board cut out of a popular beauty image.  That popular image is meant to sell you on a product or idea!  Take a moment and think about your self-talk, are you giving yourself the inner love you deserve?  Are you superimposing how you feel about yourself over how you view your appearance?

I want to share a story with you all that is personal, that demonstrates this point on a deeper level.

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom called the USA, a girl lived with her mother.  Conditioned to think she had no worth she hated herself and her appearance. She felt if she could change everything about herself she would be happy and have worth.  All because of how she felt.  Well, one day something changed her life…not overnight mind you, but change her life it did.

My mother and I had spent time sewing, and we made some clothes.  Wherein, I was trying them on.  After trying on a few and liking them; they were dark, and a bit baggy (it was a phase), I came to a dress that she’d picked out. Bright and fitted it was not my usual style, but I tried it on for Mom’s sake. Turning around and looking in the mirror I was horrified at how I felt the dress made me look, but before I could say anything My Mother said,

“Rea, you look amazing.”

Rea was my mother’s nickname for me.

I thought that she was being nice because she was my mom, and trying to make me feel better. So I argued with her; as teenagers are want to do,

“No, I don’t, I look terrible.”

“Rea, what are you talking about. That dress looks great on you, you’ve got curves most girls your age would kill for. That dress makes you look like a knockout.

“No it doesn’t Mom, it makes me look fat.”

This continued for several more minutes, and ended with my mom saying,

“You might not think it Rea, but you look great.  I’m going to take a picture to prove it to you.”

She took the picture and showed it to me. I was horrified. I thought I looked even worse than initially, but I was wrong!  She did prove to me that I was a pretty girl, it just took me a long time to see it.  I took the dress off, and as it turned out never wore it again. Time moved on, and I eventually moved away, married, and in general, forgot about the event.

Years pass! One day I was unpacking boxes from a move, and I found the picture. Looking at it again as a woman, not a girl, I realized that my Mother had been right.  I looked great in that dress. This realization got me thinking about the whole thing again, and I tried to figure out why I’d thought the dress was ugly. After some soul searching this is what I figured out.

I hadn’t thought that the dress was ugly, at the time I thought I WAS. Those insecurities were projected on to my opinion of the dress. At the time my self-esteem was about half a peg above rock-bottom, and my emotions were a mess. All this colored my view on myself and by extension the dress.  I felt ugly, so the dress was ugly.

I guess the moral of all this is that when approaching your personal fashion, you have to first feel good enough about yourself.  Set aside your emotions to see the real you. Otherwise you will see how you are feeling about yourself vs. the person you have the potential to become.

If you want to develop that stronger positive image, I can give you this parting advice.

Get yourself in front of a mirror!  See yourself in all of your glory!  Now look yourself in the eye and repeat preferably out loud, “I permit myself to see myself as beautiful.  I am important.  I love myself.  I give myself forgiveness of any negativity.  I choose to let go of any and all negative images of the woman I am.”  Do this every day until you can feel yourself growing to except who you are becoming.  Remember to surround yourself in your mind, with a soft pink light of love.

As Always Stay Classy,