My Personal Journey Through Fashion to Self-Esteem
Photo By: RosZie
My journey is not that special; it’s not even that unique compared to some people’s experiences in life. I am not an award-winning fashion expert who can tell you everything you may ever want to know about style and beauty. All I am is a woman who has been honest with herself about what hurts, what is interesting, and what makes me feel good. Not every day is one I spend creating outfits or playing with makeup. I don’t even have my nails done all the time. This is to say I am just me, an ordinary person with struggles who adjusts to life and responds to what I see in the world around me.
In my response to the world, I tend to follow what interests me and what feels good. I follow Brands who work with body shapes similar to my own. I do my best to find those brands secondhand or make my own clothing, always striving to learn. I love the control that crafting gives me. It takes time, but I have learned so much about the quality of the clothing I wear.
Like many people, I grew up without the funds to get the clothing I wanted to fit in and feel cool. I “did not have” a lot in my younger years. However, the one thing I did have was access to someone who knew how to sew. I remember my first time sitting behind a sewing machine. I wore goggles and extra-thick gloves to protect my hands, which, as you may imagine, only made sewing worse. If you want more on that story, you can check out this blog, where my mother taught me how to sew. My main point is that I learned something from all those years of “not having.”
Image By: mariya_m
I learned that you are the creator of what is fashionable. You create what looks good by wearing what you feel good in. If you feel good in something, people want to follow in your footsteps to try and feel good, too. People are seekers of comfort and happiness. We want to be happy, which is why we assimilate what is around us in order to achieve this goal. In my experience, however, assimilation is not what brings joy. What brings joy is learning who we are in relation to something we like and not being rejected by ourselves or others.
That last statement takes a little deeper thinking to understand. When we experience rejection, it’s often beyond our control. Think about it—when was the last time you saw something you wanted but told yourself there was no way you would look good in it or could achieve it? Or maybe you thought, “They would never like me because I’m not good enough, so I should just let this go.” These are all rejections of your own potential, and they hurt the most.
Rejection from others may be simpler to see and more tangible, but it’s also fleeting. It’s the kind of rejection that’s easier to move past. Most of the time, simply growing and living will eventually lift you out of the circumstances that brought someone else’s rejection into your life.
Holding on to the hurt of another person’s rejection is something where you have put emotional power, thought, or credence. But since you are the one who gave that credence to the other person’s words or actions, you can remove it.
Fast Fashion
Fast fashion often feels like an answer to a need for belonging—it offers trendy clothes at accessible prices, tempting us to buy pieces that help us "fit in" quickly. I get it; I've been there, too. It can feel so satisfying to own something that’s “in” without breaking the bank. But here’s the thing: fast fashion rarely fulfills that desire for acceptance or joy in the long run. Instead, it often leaves us with piles of clothing that wear out quickly and pieces that, somehow, never seem to feel quite right.
For me, fast fashion was both a solution and a trap. Growing up without access to the "cool" clothes, I understand the appeal. Buying something trendy and inexpensive felt empowering, but it also fed a cycle of constantly chasing a new version of myself—one that I thought would finally “fit.” I’d buy into styles that weren't my own or quality that didn’t last, all in hopes of feeling like I belonged. But instead, I found myself with clothes that only reminded me of trends I didn’t truly love, and that wore out far before I had even grown tired of them.
Photo By: Pexels
Fast fashion pushes a mindset of consumption over connection, encouraging us to value what's “in” over what we truly love. But through years of learning what actually makes me feel confident, I realized that true self-esteem doesn’t come from keeping up with trends. It comes from finding pieces that make me feel good, that resonate with who I am, and that feel like they’re worth investing in. When I wear something I love—something that feels like "me"—I feel that much more powerful, more myself.
Fast fashion may provide temporary excitement, but lasting confidence comes from clothing that connects with you on a deeper level. Whether it’s a handmade sweater or a secondhand piece that perfectly fits your personality, the time and thought put into finding (or making) those pieces makes a world of difference.
I have an activity for you that you may find enjoyable! If you’re interested in exploring your relationship with beauty and gaining access to a set of nine tools designed to help you understand and develop your personal style and image, I invite you to participate in a scavenger hunt of sorts.
Within my website, you’ll find different pages, each with a question at the bottom that will lead you to the next page and the next tool for your enjoyment and self-discovery. These tools include in-depth insights on fabrics, how to create a style mood board, a fashion styling quiz, and more!
If you’d like to leave feedback on this style scavenger hunt, feel free to reach out to me at candidandclassy@gmail.com and include "Style Scavenger" in the subject line.
Here is your first question:
The path begins where first stitches and threads were taught. Underscored is the key. To find your next link, look for a remembrance of youth, also underscored. Still stuck? Seek the color #DF9FAF.
