The Jealousy Signal: How Neglecting My Journey Fuels the Green-Eyed Monster
I’ve got a dark side, and it’s as hypocritical as they come! So, here’s the tea…
Photo Credit: PIRO4D
Jealousy is my “dirty” little secret emotion. It shows up in the worst way too. When I see someone achieving success, especially someone who once played at my level, I get jealous—whether they’re a friend or a stranger. The thing is, it doesn’t always happen. It’s kind of unpredictable that way. After years of living with this, I’ve realized something: the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head when I’m neglecting my own journey and experiences. That’s right—if I’m not tending to my own garden, I get jealous of those who are. Hypocritical? Yes. It could easily make me feel small if I let it.
But through self-awareness, I’ve learned that this emotional reaction is a clue. It tells me when I’m ignoring my own path. It’s a wake-up call, a signal to refocus on myself.
It just goes to show how complicated humans are. Imagine a good friend telling you about her book launch or a new client. You want to be happy for her, but something inside you snaps. You congratulate her, but then go home to avoid saying or doing something you might regret.
I know when I have this reaction, it’s probably because I’m giving too much of my time away. It’s a sign that I need to take back my time—and with it, my power.
I want to put something on paper that’s profound, something that inspires others to become the best version of themselves—whatever that looks like for them. But this morning, all I have is this deep understanding that I struggle, that I am struggling. So much has happened in such a short time. Most of it hasn’t made it to this blog yet, honestly, because I’m still getting comfortable sharing my inner thoughts here without feeling saley.
But I guess it’s not just about the length of my blog or the way I speak through my writing, or the advice I give. It’s also about the parts I share about myself, right? I ask that as a question because, again, I’m still figuring this out. Sometimes the words flow so easily, and other times I’m just doing what I can to hit 300 words.
Photo Credit: Midjourney AI
Back to the point I mentioned earlier—I’ve been guilty of focusing on the garden of others instead of my own space. It’s not fair to admire the metaphorical roses in someone else’s garden if I haven’t even planted my own.
I know this is rambling, but hopefully someone out there finds my thoughts interesting or useful.
